.Pour on Me your Precious White Gold.

ino bekhun : A friend I Lost along the Way..

2006-12-01T16:03:00.000+08:00

through this long path that im treasuring,
i met one sweet person, so friendly, so pure.
compliments i heard were unique and sincere,
she's one good friend, true friend for sure.

and one day arrived when she came to me,
stole my sunshine, returned my gifts.
the knot of a friendship she leased, jungle of hatred she grew,
leaving me clueless, without any clue.

and today im leaving, i saw her running in the rain,
my tears ran down on my cheeks, as my heart was in so much pain.

as im counting minutes, to home im leading my way,
giving u farewell hug, and kiss you good-bye, to the Mighty Lord i pray.
Whatever mistakes i might have shown you, i hope you forgive me one day.
i hope you read this, i dun want you to be a friend i lost along the way.

suhaila
december 1, 2006
3:46pm

Examination week.

2006-11-25T04:14:00.000+08:00

Exam's vibe started when The University gave us a study week. how did i spend my study week?

Went to Information Resource Centre (IRC) to disturb my friends, sleep as soon as any book is opened, eat junk food.
Learn Persian Language.
Involved in study group at the very last minutes.

and the first paper was Geomatics. Alhamdulillah. It was all right.

second paper, Islamic Studies. I slept early the night before the paper, hoping to wake up at 6am the next morning. and when i opened my eyes, it was already 8.15am. and the paper was at 9am. so i did badly for the paper. really hoped for an A, but now....

third paper, Arabic Language. Alhamdulillah. It was ok too.

fourth paper, Vector Calculus. i would say the paper was 60/40. I could do them, just the matter of correct or not.

fifth paper, Solid Mechanics. My misssion was just to pass this course. I really hope that I pass. I think i will pass.

And the sixth paper will be six days after the fifth one. after solid mechanics ended, i went to Ipoh and did a little shopping, and watched a movie. The Red Kebaya. I'm so happy with Malaysian Film Industries. By saying this, I have to put all the Yusuf Haslam's, and The Anak Mami sequal aside. And have Yasmin Ahmad and The Red Kebaya in my mind. Paula Malai Ali was in it. She reminded me so much of Fara Alyaa. I miss that biatch.

the day was so much fun until the night came and an international friend of mine pissed me off so badly!! but how could i show it to her? Was a very good friend of mine. ='(

and after that, i didnt touch my book for almost three days. this is the fourth day, and the birds are chirping, Subuh just passed. I just returned from the block in front, we had movie marathon last night. ghost movies. so much fun.

and I am hoping that i will start studying today. Yeah, lets do it. Lets start studying again.

.thanks zahra.i have such a great examination week.i hope you will settle down in Malaysia!!!.

Fluid Mechanics Field Trip to Gerik

2006-11-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

Date : November 4th, 2006.
Venue : Sungai Perak, Temenggor Dam and Bersia Dam.
Lecturer : Prof. Dr. Saeid "happy" Saeidi.
Number of Bus : 2

Lesson 1 by Dr Saeidi : "It's good to take pictures for memory with 'peaces' and funny faces,
but please don't forget to take pictures like engineers"

On our 3-hour journey to north-east. "Happy?" "Haapppeeyyyyy...."

First stop, Perak River. River? Seriously where is the River?

Who would have thought that this view under the highway bridge could be so educational.

I'm not lying if I said that I'm in love with my Lecturer.

Temenggor Lake, the reservoir of Temenggor Dam.

Temenggor Dam's great free-flow spillway. So big, Masya-4JJ1.

Bersia Power Station as background. Frightened face I put on, birds were pooping everywhere.

Babies I met on the way back :-

Muhammad *something* Danish. He was not so friendly. =(

And who would not love Baby Muhammad Yusuff ?? 7-month-old adorable baby, weighs 12kg/15kg. The most hugable Teddy Baby!!

.Perfect Trip!! And of course I get darker in each field trip.

Happy Eid!!

2006-11-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Eid!! Eid Mubarrak!! Selamat Hari Raya!!

.i miss my family so dearly.counting days.

My Doa. I'm so Scared.

2006-10-16T12:51:00.000+08:00

Dumb,
Has this small piece of flesh in me turned to stone?
These million cells in my skull do not seem to work anymore.

Pour on me your sweet blessings,
Rain on me your barakah,
Empty, lost and confused I have become.

Ya 4JJ1,
Put me in one of the blessed ones,
Bless every effort that I make,
Accept all my eebadah,
Accept every tears I shed on Your praying mat.

Though I'm not good in presenting doa,
I'm so scared Ya Lord,
If You punish me,
and make my brain become so frozen,
My muscles become so heavy, and my mind become so sleepy.

Help me Ya 4JJ1,
Hear my prayers,
Hear my Mother's prayers,
Accept our tears..

Ameen.

Weight of the World

2006-10-15T10:56:00.000+08:00

Feels like the weight of the world
like God in heaven gave me a turn
don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you
still in the dark, can you fix me?

freefall, freefall, all through life

If you love me, then let go of me
I wont be held down by who I used to be
she's nothing to me

Feels like the weight of the world
like all my screaming has gone unheard
and oh I know you don't believe in me
safe in the dark, how can you see?

freefall, freefall, all through life

If you love me, then let go of me
I won't be held down by who I used to be

I am Blessed

2006-10-09T18:30:00.000+08:00

Isnt it great to have four girls, from four different countries, with for different color of skin, with different mazhab, all in one room, conversing?

Isnt it great to have seven girls, from four different countries, speaking three different languages, with different kind of beauty, Masya-4JJ1, all having sahur in one dining table?

This semester has been a blast for me. I make the greatest friends anyone in the world could ever find. i never thought about it in this way, but I am now convinced that I am being blessed. To be given such great oppurtunity, which I think is a waste to other local students that are too engrossed in their own life without opening their eyes to the international students.

Many things that I have learnt from them as each individual affects me in their own way. I took away their good examples and plant them in my heart. I adore their cultures, their life styles, and Masya-4JJ1, the languages.

And before this i was having trouble on deciding where my first daughter will be from. and now i have decided that she will be from Iran. And pray for me that I will get to learn Persian easily as I will be able to teach my daughter in her original, native language. (My name is a Persian name btw, Soheila = Rarely, hardly to be found)

I am looking forward for my years ahead in UTP for me to make more friends who are unique in their own way. Every minute, every conversation with everyone of them, i treasure the most as i learn something new everytime.

.Alhamdulillah.

Ramadhan Kareem!!

2006-09-30T07:51:00.000+08:00

I realised that i havent been posting anything for almost three weeks now when a friend ask me why did i stop blogging. Many things happened actually, and many thoughts pumping my head, but, it's scary to admit, i just feel lazy to write.

Last Tuesday, i submitted my latest short story to Ms Chong Su Li. It is not so really LATEST, i wrote it on May 20th, 2006 during my Technical and Professional Writing Final Exam. I am so worried if it would be my last story that i would write for in a long period. I havent really being so productive lately, as i can only write when I'm depressed.

Talking about depression. Yes, i do sometimes get depressed. Especially when someone, lets call her H, is about in the radius of 5 metres near me. I should not be talking about this issue much in my blog, its gossiping and i dont want to waste my time typing about her in my blog, just not (this is where i put the F-ing word) worth it!!

But may be i will write a little this disappointment in my chest on her, just to make me feel better. I have no idea what's wrong with her. Yeah, true everyone has problems, but HELLO!!! (shouting this to her face), does she have to put such (this is where i put the F-ing word again) ugly, sour face everytime we're in the domestic area? Cant even give Salam when entering my room, letting thousands of syaitan to enter the room with her; slamming my door, leaving the room without a word and never return for few nights.

Come on!! Its Ramadhan. I love this month, and her presence poluted a small part of my loved month!! Oh My God, right now, i would really love to have the OLD Suhaila to write on this topic, where all the harsh words would come out, but no, it's Ramadhan. Her horizontal relationships havent been really good, as i could see lately. Lets just pray that at least her vertical relationship is much better than the horizontal ones.
_______________________________________________________________

so many exciting things happened in these three weeks. But im not in the mood to write them now. may be when i have all the time in the world, i would write.

.screw you girl. dont bloody care. you just stay in ur space, and i stay in mine. you just drew the invisible border. thanks, and i like that.

Lost in Temptation

2006-09-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

Who says that it is going to be easy? It is so not easy, so hard, so many obstacles along the way. Especially when I stepped my foot again into this Land of Temptation, where I was once belong.

I thought it was going to be easy. Just put on this shield and everything will go sweet and nice. But I was wrong. Those shadows keep haunting me, tempting me and most of the time, I lost in the darkness of the past. Most of the time, when I am back in this Land of Temptation.

I chose the shield on my free will. No one forced me, no one made me. And I lost to the temptations on my free will too.

Filzah said, “Fake it, until you make it”

And that is what I am doing, faking it. Because I know I will make it. And if there are ugly acts that I might have accidentally or purposely done (will do), correct me please. I know I will make it. And if my acts could pollute the name of others, snap me please. I know I will make it. Do pray that I will make it. I will make it. I will make it.

It is hard to leave the past when the past is exactly right in front of my eyes. Right beneath my trembling hands. Reflecting my own shivering breathes on its neck. Biting my lips till they bleed and the sweet blood on my lips and on its. *drawn by my own words*

And fake it Suhaila! That is what I am going to be doing, fake it!! Because I know, I will make it!!

.and my lips still do bleed.

**written 27 hours ago**

Sorry to post this up

2006-09-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

but really, look through.hope its effective enough.

On this photo a 18-year-old boy who died in one of the hospitals in Oman. The corpse of the boy was dug out from a tomb in 3 hours after his funeral under the insisting of his father. The boy died in hospital and has been buried under the Islamic law and on the same day after obligatory ablution of the body. However after funeral the father has doubted of the diagnosis of doctors and wanted to identify the true reason of his death.

Relatives and his friends were shocked when they saw the corpse. He was completely different within 3 hours. He turned grey as the very old man, with traces of obvious tortures and the most severe beating, with the broken bones of hands and legs, with the edges broken and pressed onto a body.

All his body and face were full of bruises. The open-eyes showed hopeless fear and pain. The blood obviously attributes that the boy was subjected to the most severe torture.

look at the eyeball. So fear God.

Close relatives of the dead man have addressed to Islamic scientists who have unequivocally declared that it is available results of tomb torture which Allah (s.w.t) and in the Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) have warned.

The shocked father of the boy has admitted that his son was spoilt, did not perform Solat, and had a carefree way of life, having involved in different sins.

Each died person comes across tests in the tomb for exception Shahids who died in Jihad on the way of Allah. This is the first terrible test which the person comes across before the Doomsday.

In Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w):
- After the death the spirit of died person will return to a body then two Angels will come, Munkar and Nakir, and will ask: "Who is your Lord?" he will answer: "my Lord - Allah ". Then they will ask: "What is your religion?" he will answer: "My religion - Islam". Then they will ask him: "Who that person who has been sent to you?" he will answer: "He is the Prophet of Allah ". Then they will ask him: "How do you know?" He will answer: "I read the Book of Allah and trusted Him.

In Hadis it is also said, that Angels will severely beat the sinners during interrogation in the tomb and this torture will be awful. It is informed also, that our Messenger (s.a.w) supplicated to Allah to protect Him from tortures of a tomb and asked other people to do so.

The history of 18-year old young men is a sign for believers and this is only next fairy tale for whom hearts are sealed by Allah. They look and do not see, listen and do not hear?

(This story was translated from other language into English. That’s why I apologize in advance for mistakes.)

Wallahualam.

These Scare Me

2006-09-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

1#
Situatuon : A friend, who i am not so close with, U, only that we once were in the same group for a Petronas Program. She has a non-Muslim boyfriend, very cute indeed :P.
What Scares Me : Read something about how Christian boys are taught in their churches on how to "seduce" Muslim Malay girls, and make them *somehow convert to Christianity. I think I can notice the changing in U, though i dont speak to her like everyday. I dare not to elaborate further on the changes that i and my friends noticed. (i've discussed this with my friends).

2#
Situation : I saw pictures of my tudung-wearing friend with her guy friendS, Muslim + non-Muslim, hanging out, bare-headed!
WSM : This is a girl, a product of a good Islamic School. I think im more sad, upset and regret than scared in this case.
Sad - Why cant she just continue showing her beauty as a Muslimah in her hijab?
Upset - To the stupid Muslim guy in the picture, i can bet he did not say anything to her. Upset to her other girl friends in the picture.
Regret - I feel helpless, no courage to approach her. Regret that i, myself, is not good enough to be in the position to remind her what's wrong and what's right.

3#
Situation : A friend who is uncomfortable with good changings.
WSM : I found out that this friend of mine is not feeling comfortable with my new appearance. Afraid of the words of Al-Quran Karim. Feels uneasy with me. And talks bad about my two very good friends, whom im confident to make the statement that they are the nicest persons in UTP Land. Who have directly and indirectly changed me into a much better person, insya-Allah. Why does she feel that way? Hasad? What for? I got so pissed when i found out why would any person have bad impression on my two good friends. CRAZY!! PAGAL!! BAH!! MAJNUN!!

the 3rd case pisses me off the most, as it involves me and the people who are really close to me. Hopefully the girl in case 3 will get to her senses soon. Amiin.

*the somehow, u guys can contact me personally on how they somehow convert Muslim girls to Christianity.

.No one talks bad about my friends. NO ONE!!.

Strengthening Words of the Night

2006-08-26T14:20:00.000+08:00

"Just keep on wearing 'abayah. As long as you know your niat, don't bother what others say. You can't satisfy everyone at the same time"

Sameha Ahmed

Free~~

2006-08-26T01:57:00.000+08:00

What goes through your mind?
As you sit there looking at me
Well I can tell from your looks
That you think I’m so oppressed
But I don’t need for you to liberate me

My head is not bare
And you can’t see my covered hair
So you sit there and you stare
And you judge me with your glare
You’re sure
I’m in despair
But are you not aware
Under this scarf that I wear
I have feelings, and I do care

CHORUS:
So don’t you see?
That I’m truly free
This piece of scarf on me
I wear so proudly
To preserve my dignity...
My modesty, my integrity
So don’t judge me
Open your eyes and see...

“Why can’t you just accept me?”
she says “Why can’t I just be me?”
she says
Time and time again
You speak of democracy
Yet you rob me of my liberty
All I want is equality
Why can’t you just let me be free?

For you I sing this song
My sister, may you always be strong
From you I’ve learnt so much
How you suffer so much
Yet you forgive those who laugh at you
You walk with no fear
Through the insults you hear
Your wish so sincere
That they’d understand you
But before you walk away
This time you turn and say:

But don’t you see?
'That I’m truly free
This piece of scarf on me
I wear so proudly
To preserve my dignity
My modesty, my integrity
So let me be
She says with a smile
I’m the one who’s free

-Sami Yusuf

Subhanallaah

2006-08-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

.Subhanallaah.

First glance at her, you become desperate for the second, eternal look.

Being her friend, u learn new things every day.

Getting close to her, knowing her heart, knowing her imaan, knowing her beauty, doubtless you will say, - Subhanallah, Allah's creation, Maha Suci Allah.

.most grateful thing at this very moment; born as a female.

.Something to laugh about in 10 years, or may be now. =D

2006-08-22T09:40:00.001+08:00

Well, this happened to my Sayang. (u know who u are)

So, i went to ipoh for the second time in this week last Saturday. The Yemeni girls needed to see a Yemeni guy at Casuarina Hotel to get some materials for their booth for Convofair. After Ipoh, we went to Taman Maju because everyone needed something from there. I rented a red Kancil.

We stopped at UTP first to withdraw money. We (me, Tahani and Leena) , were queueing at the ATM machine and Sayang asked for the car key, she needed to take something she said.

And the funny part is, she went towards the car, and then i heard the sound of car being unlocked, like automatically, with the remote. But as far i remember, the car can only be unlocked manually, with the key. And then I saw her entering one red Kancil. But that was not the car that i rented. But she was already sitting at the driver seat. I was just watching her as a man approached her. (SOund effect : Dam dam dam..) I saw them talking for a while, and then she left the car, and walked towards the car beside, OUR red Kancil.

After withdrawing money, I went back to the car and asked her what happened.

"Sayang, what happened?"

"I dunno. That car looked the same. I was about to put the key into the keyhole and the door was unlocked straight away. Wow, so powerful."

*laugh*

"And then a man came and said, hey this is my car. Then i said, yes but u rented it to my friend"

*more laugh*

"Then he said no. then i said sorry and went out"

*more more laugh*

And we headed to Taman Maju with smiles on our faces. Well, to be honest, there're always smiles on my face when I'm with them. Like there's no reason to feel sad or down or upset. See, everything is wonderful if Lillahi Ta'ala.

.i will try to put pictures in next post. Insha-Allah .

Treat Me Like A Lady

2006-08-18T07:02:00.000+08:00

Since I have been wearing A'bayah for quite often lately, I feel more confident. Confident in almost everything, especially when walking to classes. And you know, the way you dress really affects your behaviour.

Have you ever felt like when you put on those baju kurung on you, you will automatically feel 'ayu'. Really, this is the truth. And once i put on the A'bayah, i feel like a whole new person. Feel so shy, feel so humble, feel so special at the same time also. Feel more like a muslimah inside. The feeling is really unexplainable. It's a blessing.

And i think people start to treat me differently too. Guys, mostly. Lets take yesterday's dinner time as example. I was heading to the Western stall counter with my sister, and as usual, it was crowded as ever. And bunch of guys that were literally blocking the way to the counter saw me and they made way for me, like when Moses a.s passed through the Red Sea, straight to the front of the counter!!* Hahah.. And i just felt so shy to look at them, i just nodded and said thanks to them. teEEheeEE...

And Filzah is going back to her hometown tomorrow. And I've asked her to buy for me Jubah. Malaysian Jubah. Hope i will like it. Tihani!!! Go back to Yemen NOW!!!

.Sami Yusuf ROCKS!!.

*It usually took me 10minutes to just reach the front of the counter.

.T.H.E.M.

2006-08-15T20:18:00.000+08:00

//written during geomatics field work.
// mood : All pissed off. called today as my Pissed Off Day.

This second, this moment,
I capture this view that carpeted infront of me.
Oh - so peaceful, Subhanallah..

Desperation crawls into my inside when the pure color of white is covering my outside,
The anger disappears, but the confusion and burden built , trapping me under these huge mass of unsatisfaction.

Make it easy, make it simple,
As simple as I'm sitting here and writing before this forest,
If only i could tell this to them,
Them - are they my supportive friends? Are they the destructive symbols of hasad?
THEM -

Before this green, artificial world,
They are the witnesses of my open eyes,
My heart laid exposed, my expanded chest.
Hope it is genuine, unlike the artificial them.
Hope it is pure, unlike the bogus them.

I felt fine after the noon passed. But it changed after Maghrib. I'm all pissy again. Even more pissed than before. But i can't express it, can i? How can I be mad at such a special being like you? I just don't deserve to. But it's good if you know that I'm a little angry, hurt, upset, disappointed, sad, etc etc etc.. You promised to me first.
Well, you are no angel nor rasul. No one's perfect.

.Even the best could sometimes slit you.. :(

The Veil

2006-08-14T13:32:00.000+08:00

They say, "Oh, poor girl, you're so beautiful you know
It's a shame that you cover up your beauty so.
"She just smiles and graciously responds reassuringly,
"This beauty that I have is just one simple part of me.
This body that I have, no stranger has the right to see.

These long clothes, this shawl I wear, ensure my modesty.
Faith is more essential than fashion, wouldn't you agree?
This hijab,This mark of piety,
Is an act of faith, a symbol,For all the world to see.

A simple cloth, to protect her dignity.
So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity.

They tell her, "Girl, don't you know this is the West and you are free?
You don't need to be opressed, ashamed of your femininity.
"She just shakes her head and she speaks so assuredly,
"See the bill-boards and the magazines that line the check-out isles,
with their phony painted faces and their air-brushed smiles?
Well their sheer clothes and low cut gowns are really not for me.
You call it freedom, I call it anarchy."

This hijab,This mark of piety,
Is an act of faith, a symbol,For all the world to see.

A simple cloth, to protect her dignity.
So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity.
Lift the veil from your heart and seek the heart of purity.

.Im so confused.. i need a way out!!.

And i was lost during Subuh prayer

2006-08-11T14:55:00.000+08:00

Today started as early as 5am. I went for a morning walk again with Tihani and supposedly Sameha but Sameha was too engrossed in her world of slumber, so she didn't join us.

We prayed Subuh at the mosque, as planned. But something that i didn't plan happened during the prayer (Apparently everyone knows this except for me, this is my second time praying Subuh at the mosque, and first time on Friday). So, the thing that i didn't know but everyone knows is ; during Friday Subuh, the imam will recite an ayat sajadah!! Which means, it will be followed with Sujud Sajadah, which i don't know how to do!! HUHU.. I mean, we learned this in highschool. but I have never practiced it, so... there you go. I was so lost just now and i lost my concentration there also.. ='(

But it's ok. At least i learned something new today. And i will get back to Filzah to ask her how to do Sujud Sajadah properly. May Allah accept my prayer just now. Amiin.

Only one class on Friday, and i just returned from my lunch with Alia, and the two Yemenese Ladies. And our every meeting can never me more knowledgable than the previous ones. Thank you Allah for this blessing.

Buried under the sand of assignments and reports

Thank You Ungku Laila Han(n)a

2006-08-10T18:19:00.000+08:00

And I would like to take this opportunity to promote your page also..

[[tourniquet for my shattered heart]]

And in Laila's blog, there's another link to one cute blog called Kisah Maryam, written by her 7-year-old sister. The blog represents the purity of a child's heart which is soOO cute. hehe.. ^_^

And as i said Leyl, your "Dark" girlfriend is not going anywhere. She's right here, u just have to call her out babe.

.my days are just ok lately, what have i done wrong??.

And It just Gets Better Everyday

2006-08-07T06:18:00.000+08:00

After all the deeds that i have done yesterday, i could only hope of one thing, that all of my deeds are excepted by Allah.

i started my day with a morning walk with Tihani and Sameha. It was at 5.30am. The weather was so nice i just couldn't afford to miss it. We walked till the mosque and when the azan bursted the silence of the fajr we headed to the mosque and prayed Jema'ah there. I PRAYED SUBUH AT THE MOSQUE!! Good starting of the day, Suhaila, Good start! And UTP mosque is breathtakingly beautiful.

In the afternoon, my Islamic Studies Group headed to Bait Al-Amin Orphanage House in Parit. It was for our mini project that will Insya-Allah add 15% of our assessment mark. The kids were unbelievable. Some were so cute that i thought of taking them home myself. My little *sister, Syaza found a little girl who apparently got too fond with her. She had the girl all by herself and I didn't get the chance to play with the little girl, whom i believed named as Nabilah. She was so gorgeous.

We headed back at around 6pm. Everything went well. I just can't say how thankful I am. My days are just getting better everyday. May be I'm not used to it. It feels like I'm being blessed. I love you , Allah!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

I sound like a kid now.. but who cares.. hehehe.. =P

*we are siblings with different father and mother. started when people said that we look alike, but she's like a foot shorter than me. she calls me akak and i call her adik. (she's two months older than me) and sometimes it feels weird (rude) when she calls me by name. haha..

Teach me singing happy songs

2006-08-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

It surprises me how i manage to not to feel down and sad and "dark" in so many weeks. It really does. My days just get better each passing day. It's like how i pray to 4JJ1 for my tomorrows to be better than todays. And Insya-4JJ1, 4JJ1 has granted it.

And you know, besides saying Alhamdulillah and salawah upon Rasulallah for this blessing that i'm feeling, i find it hard to express my peacefulness in less spiritual way. I just realise, i do not know happy songs. I had a great evening with a very good friend of mine who i must admit, plays all the role in my cleansing, and i was walking back to my room, feeling desperate to sing some happy songs, but nothing popped into my head. Really, NOTHING.

So i ended up humming stupid-spontaneous songs.

I've learned that not everything i do, i must hope for something back in return. Everything must be done for Lillaahi Ta'ala. Studying, walking to classes, carrying my friends' books, treating my friends lunch once in a while.. everything, Lillaahi Ta'ala. And writing a blog, perhaps.

So, about all the bad things that i did before, did not deserve to be done in the name of Allah s.w.t. I have no idea what i was thinking doing all those things. Was i not matured enough to think? Was it my ranging hormones? I do not know. Perhaps, it was just the downfall of my imaan. And im not going to point to any friends that got involved in some activities. Those were my fault that i could not stand for my iman to resist their temptations.

Next lesson : Istiqamah

this pic scares me sometimes.. but may be one day, Insya-4JJ1.

Best Sunday

2006-07-31T00:50:00.000+08:00

it is like the best sunday, for me. i dunno. its so much fun. if only words could describe how much fun i had today. if only smiles are big enough for me to express it. :D

i must say that today, i received so many things.

t-shirt from Fadila... so cute. im wearing it right now. its black of course. khob khun kha~ long.
t-shirt from Som, with the word Thailand written on it, with pic of many baby elephants. we promised to wear it during convofair.. khob khun kha~ i som.
jubah ('abayah), pashmina, neqob (yemenese hijab), from Tihani. God, its gorgeous!! she has it speacially made for me. im so touched and she is so nice. syukran ya sadiqati.
two types of thai food from chandanee.. thai food are always unique and unexpected. tee rak jah, khob khun kha~.

i almost forgot how it feels to do good for the sake of doing good. not wanting anything back in return. but to just helping friends who are in need. and it feels really really good.

im gonna continue chatting with some friends. friends, what would i do without you and you!!

Back on the Ground

2006-07-23T12:41:00.000+08:00

this morning, the sound of the nature is unfamiliarly louder. the weather is really soothing and my eyes are heavy as usual.

the weeks that i enjoyed being at home taught me many new things. how i have spent most of my time with kids, and that was one kind of a blessing from Allah to me. how beautiful they are.

the argument that occured between my sisters. the thing that had never witnessed since i was breathing and it happened because of one stupid navy guy.

i had the chance to meet some of my highschool friends. missed them dearly, but i didnt have chance to really catch up with them, what a shame.

my result sucks big time. so i came to UTP this time with new resolutions ;

no more playing aroud
GROW UP!!
be diciplined

i hope this new semester with teach me how to deal with university life wisely. after almost two years in university, i still havent gotten the rhythm.